Damn funny alien joke

Well sonny, let me tell you bout the time the wife and I met some aliens. They landed on our farm one night and introduced themselves. Nice people. We got to talkin' and of course the conversation turned to sex. Now, the wife and I are open minded, so we thought, you know, in the name of science and interspecies understanding, we should give it a try. So the lady alien and I go off the the saucer while the male alien takes my wife to the bedroom.

Next morning, the wife and I talk about it. She says the alien had such a tiny penis, she started to laugh. Well, he says they aren't built like us. If she wants it thicker, just pull on his left ear. If she wants it longer, just pull on his right ear. So she gets it set up the way she likes and they have a great time.

"How was it for you?" she asks.

I say, "Pretty good, but that alien damn near pulled my ears off!"

Quite an interesting conundrum, this one

What must happen here in this story: http://chattahbox.com/curiosity/2009/04/02/sterile-man-pays-neighbor-to-get-wife-pregnant-and-then-things-get-weird/

While it seemed like a male fantasy coming true for Maus he has to now contend with twists like he is sterile, his wive's been cheating on him and he might have to return the $2500 that he took for his favors. I wonder which one of those twists is giving him a sleepless night.

On the other hand, Maus' wife got more in bargain than her husband indulging in IT with another woman, though with her knowledge. She had to go through the trauma of telling her husband that she's been an infidel. All this for what $2500?

Maus, though he did provide a service in exchange for compensation. But, does the fee, once paid, not entitle the buyer to some assurance Of reliability? Hmm? Huh? Ahh. These are not easy questions to answer. Not for any man.

Here's wishing Capt.Gopinath a delayed/cancelled election

Capt.Gopinath, the low-cost air-travel pioneer in India has enlisted himself for election '09 to get elected as an MP. He had founded Air Deccan which started the era of low-cost flying in India. And with it's demise so did the bubble of low-cost flying too burst. Along with low-cost flying Air Deccan also was known for really shabby customer treatment. Almost 90% of it's flight would take-off with atleast 2 hours of delay. If the requisite number of seats on a flight were not filled, Air Deccan would cancel such flights without batting an eyelid, too. Air Deccan flights were reminiscent of the buses on our Indian roads, plied by the private operator, that would not start until they had filled up. One could see such buses on our roads where the driver has started the bus and is stepping on the gas for people to think that it is about to leave but the truth is that these buses wouldn't leave without all of it's seats getting filled. Air Deccan reminded one of this scene.
Let me take this opportunity to be a good samaritan inspite of being one of his disgruntled passengers and, duely, "not" wish him any of the following on his maiden political venture: That he gets elected as an MP and:
1. His first flight to Delhi is delayed by atleast 4 hours.
2. His government alloted home is cancelled when he arrives there with his lock, stock and barrels.
3. He enters into a post-poll alliance with a party that ditches him midway.
4. He is asked to pay extra for even peanuts inside the parliament building.

People, would you want to add anything more to this? :)

"Pakistan - Riding a Tiger"

‘Pakistan is only taking half measures in the fight against terrorism. Pakistan is paying the price for not heeding our advice,’ Mr Chidambaram(PC, our Home Minister) said. ‘Unless you dismantle terror, one day or the other you'll be hurt,’ he told Pakistan. ‘We have put enormous pressure on Pakistan, but the response is in Pakistan's hands... They have not gone the whole distance to dismantle terror infrastructure. We advised them that it is not enough if they nab one or two people whom they suspect to be the masterminds.’

Kudos to our Home Minister, I am glad we are, finally, talking how we should have been talking all the time. May I add my own aphorism on the subject, "Jo doosron ke liye gaddah khodta hai wohi usme girata hain(Those who dig a grave for others end up falling in it themselves.)". This is after a longtime that I find pride in our Home Minister and Foriegn minister. On the other hand I had expected a lot more from Zardari, a person who lost his wife to Terrorism. He is the living proof that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Banning his opponent from contesting elections, treating LeT, JeM, Taliban, etc with kid gloves are not the ways expected of a person who is a victim of terrorism. Under his leadership Pakistan is leading a way of speak and counter-speak.

That said, my sympathies with the police personnel who lost their lives in the lahore attack.

Arguments lately

Lately, I've been embroiled in, sometimes heated, arguments, with one person in particular, on various subjects. The three subjects of arguments are as follows:
1. Whether Renuka Chaudhary's war cry "Pub-Bharo" was in good taste or not. I was obviously in favor of it :) But I have solid reasons, mind you.
2. Whether wizard based technologies should be the way forward. I am more in favor of "control" in my tech stuff so A-to-Z wizard based stuff is not for me. I need the element of control that ties ends together or I don't feel in control. And it is the case, if you want to do something out of the way of the wizard technologies, you end up scratching your heads.
3. Whether Sachin Tendulkar is god. I admit that I went through a phase where I used to think that India had no chance of winning when his wicket fell. But I am well past that phase. In fact, though I like the cricket the new team plays under Dhoni, I am no longer a fan of cricket! I fail to understand how a person who was so very inconsistent on the field be termed the God of Cricket! When I was young and impressionable there is no dearth of times when he has let me down by giving his wicket away.

Believe it or not: This chart works!

Just discovered this chart according to chinese lunar calendar which predicts the gender of your baby pretty accurately. Please note that this is posted here not as a gender selector for "ishq par waqt ta zor kab raha hai....ha...ha...ha"
http://www.thelaboroflove.com/chart/cal.html

I have checked this chart for my boys and myself too and it accurately predicted my sex..i mean gender :)

Red Indian Vs. White man

Red Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official,
'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his
technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's
done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion,
where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then
calmly replied.
'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty
buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man
free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think
he could improve a system like that.'