Finally biting the bullet on writing something on the 26/11 incident. Why so late? Reams and reams has already been written and said about the incidents. How we are all so angry with the government for letting us down, how we are angry with our "terror hub"/"global migraine" neighbor - pakistan.
A lot has been written about the role of our media too! Our media has been accused of reporting which has caused more loss of life by reporting the positions of our security forces. I don't know if the hindi media is more to blame for this or what because I am sure I was following the english channels and they were reporting the incidents at the hotels with a time-lag of 30 minutes. Whatever you blame the media for, I feel proud that we have a free-press like the one our nation has. Every Indian has been raging mad with our government for the intelligence failures which led to this catastrophic event. And everyone of us wanted to be heard in this time of anger. And I am proud that we excercised our democracy through our media. Our media carried our mood exactly the way it was to the corridors of power and things started to happen. If we had waited for democracy to take it's usual course we'd have to wait till the next general election to make public our mood. But due to the pressure that our media created, the by-now famously weak home minister Mr.Shivraj Patil was given the kick in his a$$ that he deserved, the new home minister apologised to the peopl on behalf of the government, the state kicked their CM and dy.CM, the US has exerted pressure on pak to act on their terrorists. Our media has many faults but this time I am happy that they have brought some closure to our anger.
Talking about media, I've been following what the paki media has been saying about all this. True to their always-in-self-denial image, they never pick up stories which point towards paki elements being involved in the incident. They would pick up news items which shows how indian people are discontent with their leaders, how indian intelligence failures led to this incident, how their politicians blame indian-bred elements causing all this. Here's the big difference between these two countries: Indian media doesn't spare the indians who caused the malegaon or godhra riots, but paki media would close their eyes to such involvements of their countrymen in the hope that nobody, too, is noticing it. We as a country are much more mature and free than our neighbors. I feel sad for the poor people of that country. I can only think of one way to relieve the poor bastards of their miseries and i.e. if somebody drops a big bomb on that country to wipe it off the world map :)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
A nice, other point-of-view of what's happening about the mumbai terror attack
Army may regain muscle in Pakistan
New Delhi: Why did the Pakistan army do this? First, to deflect attention from the Mumbai attack into which the ISI was being dragged (ISI and the army are very close after Pakistan army chief Kayani hand-picked Lt Gen Pasha as the ISI boss). Second, it was signaling to the world that the civilian government didn’t matter; what mattered was the army.
The third reason is that it saw in the situation an opportunity to recoup the morale of its soldiers. The US-pressed ‘‘war on terror’’ on Pakistan’s western front is believed to have badly sapped the army’s morale. Many of the soldiers don’t believe in it — there were as many as 900 desertions last year. Fourth, it reckons that by playing the India card, it could win back some of its lost credibility and authority among the people. Musharraf ’s last months had badly dented the army’s standing in Pakistani society and the ‘‘war on terror’’ has eroded its popularity. With Zardari & Co seen as soft on India, the army was now sensing an opportunity of staging a comeback.
In fact, one estimate in New Delhi is that the Mumbai carnage, and the expected backlash from India, is aimed at a larger goal — to set the scene for an army coup. Top officials, however, discount the possibility — at least for now, although they don’t discount that the army is pushing to carve out its independent space and a bigger stake.
That’s where India’s dilemma comes in. If it were to flex its muscle, mass its soldiers along the border and tell Islamabad that it means business — as many people, incensed with the repeated terrorist attacks, would like the government to do — it could be playing into the Pakistan army’s hand.
New Delhi knows that the Americans have more levers on Pakistan than it has. But it doesn’t know how much pressure the US was willing to exert on Islamabad. While there is an overlap of interest with India now (six American were, after all, killed in the attack), US’s bigger interest is in forcing Pakistan’s hand in the fight against al Qaida and the Taliban.
So, when Condoleezza Rice came over on Wednesday, she said all the right words but, in concrete terms, promised to press Pakistan on one thing — to ask for a ban on Lashkare-Taiba’s political wing, Jamaat-ud-Dawa. The Dawa is not an underground organization like Lashkar, although it recruits people for terror, as it did with captured Mumbai attacker, Ajmal Amir Kasab. India is also uncertain of the implication of getting the US and others involved in the standoff. It fears that could lead to the internationalizing of the Kashmir dispute.
Everyone loves a good crisis, and all of them were looking to get something out for themselves from it if they could get their finger in the pie. That’s India’s second dilemma — it knows only the US can deliver but it doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to press it for help beyond a point.
Ask any top government official and he or she will say, ‘‘We want outcome, not statements.’’ But they don’t really know how to secure that outcome. Should it turn to the doubtful constable — in this case, the Pakistan army — for help? Not really. Should it insist with the friendly officer — in this case, the US — to make his boss wait and catch the thief first? It’s of no use, he won’t.
So, India waits staring at the various non-options, waiting for a bright idea to strike it. Meanwhile, the thief is at the safe distance, from where he is now thumbing his nose at you.
New Delhi: Why did the Pakistan army do this? First, to deflect attention from the Mumbai attack into which the ISI was being dragged (ISI and the army are very close after Pakistan army chief Kayani hand-picked Lt Gen Pasha as the ISI boss). Second, it was signaling to the world that the civilian government didn’t matter; what mattered was the army.
The third reason is that it saw in the situation an opportunity to recoup the morale of its soldiers. The US-pressed ‘‘war on terror’’ on Pakistan’s western front is believed to have badly sapped the army’s morale. Many of the soldiers don’t believe in it — there were as many as 900 desertions last year. Fourth, it reckons that by playing the India card, it could win back some of its lost credibility and authority among the people. Musharraf ’s last months had badly dented the army’s standing in Pakistani society and the ‘‘war on terror’’ has eroded its popularity. With Zardari & Co seen as soft on India, the army was now sensing an opportunity of staging a comeback.
In fact, one estimate in New Delhi is that the Mumbai carnage, and the expected backlash from India, is aimed at a larger goal — to set the scene for an army coup. Top officials, however, discount the possibility — at least for now, although they don’t discount that the army is pushing to carve out its independent space and a bigger stake.
That’s where India’s dilemma comes in. If it were to flex its muscle, mass its soldiers along the border and tell Islamabad that it means business — as many people, incensed with the repeated terrorist attacks, would like the government to do — it could be playing into the Pakistan army’s hand.
New Delhi knows that the Americans have more levers on Pakistan than it has. But it doesn’t know how much pressure the US was willing to exert on Islamabad. While there is an overlap of interest with India now (six American were, after all, killed in the attack), US’s bigger interest is in forcing Pakistan’s hand in the fight against al Qaida and the Taliban.
So, when Condoleezza Rice came over on Wednesday, she said all the right words but, in concrete terms, promised to press Pakistan on one thing — to ask for a ban on Lashkare-Taiba’s political wing, Jamaat-ud-Dawa. The Dawa is not an underground organization like Lashkar, although it recruits people for terror, as it did with captured Mumbai attacker, Ajmal Amir Kasab. India is also uncertain of the implication of getting the US and others involved in the standoff. It fears that could lead to the internationalizing of the Kashmir dispute.
Everyone loves a good crisis, and all of them were looking to get something out for themselves from it if they could get their finger in the pie. That’s India’s second dilemma — it knows only the US can deliver but it doesn’t know if it’s a good idea to press it for help beyond a point.
Ask any top government official and he or she will say, ‘‘We want outcome, not statements.’’ But they don’t really know how to secure that outcome. Should it turn to the doubtful constable — in this case, the Pakistan army — for help? Not really. Should it insist with the friendly officer — in this case, the US — to make his boss wait and catch the thief first? It’s of no use, he won’t.
So, India waits staring at the various non-options, waiting for a bright idea to strike it. Meanwhile, the thief is at the safe distance, from where he is now thumbing his nose at you.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sachin's transformation
Not that I am a big fan of Sachin's but his transformation from a rustic lad to the suave person he is now...watching is believing it.
Here, he is saying a yes to everything he is being asked. He also says that "Kapil was also very good"..like they were waiting for his certification ;)
The transformed Sachin!
Here, he is saying a yes to everything he is being asked. He also says that "Kapil was also very good"..like they were waiting for his certification ;)
The transformed Sachin!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Have you ever wanted to have a custom folder in the save/open dialog window?
Many a times I have wanted to place my own custom folder in the space to the left of the Save as/Open window so that I could go to my area in a jiffy and not navigate through a maze of drives and folders to reach my destination. It is such a compelling requirement that it must've been a default feature in windows but no, it is not.
I have done a little research on how to get this feature. And what do I find? MS, no less, provides this functionality through a power toy program. I discovered that MS has numberous power toy programs to achieve different things and TweakUI is one of them. And all the power toys are "free". It is a very small program(147KB). Once you install it look for the "Places Bar" option in the "Common Dialogs" section. Here you can define 5 custom folders. And no more than 5. Rest is pretty self-explanatory.
Here is the link to find all the power toys from MS: http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/downloads/powertoys/xppowertoys.mspx
I have done a little research on how to get this feature. And what do I find? MS, no less, provides this functionality through a power toy program. I discovered that MS has numberous power toy programs to achieve different things and TweakUI is one of them. And all the power toys are "free". It is a very small program(147KB). Once you install it look for the "Places Bar" option in the "Common Dialogs" section. Here you can define 5 custom folders. And no more than 5. Rest is pretty self-explanatory.
Here is the link to find all the power toys from MS: http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/downloads/powertoys/xppowertoys.mspx
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Mother earth is a living being
That's my opinion. Yes, ME is living in many ways.
For long she has been pushed up the wall with the growing number of ways humans are finding to pollute her. Increased emissions with the numerous cars, industries, etc. Green-house changing the look of the earth...the white poles will no longer be white in a few years. You can go on and on.
We need to slow down..but how? Man will keep doing his bit for pollution until he can do it. He will purchase the big car if he can, to compensate for something. How can we stem this rot, you ask. The crash of the credit market, overnight..ta da! You can't get loans so easily. AND the loans have become dearer. What is the option left with the man? If he has a car he'll make do with it and if he doesn't he'll purchase a 2nd-hand one which was the good old way of having something bigger, which was forgotten for a long time. Re-cycling had almost been forgotten. Does it have to take such crises to remind people of recycling things until the utility for it is lost? I think it is nature's way of reminding people their roots.
Thrift as opposed to consumerism! That's the key for a long time to come.
For long she has been pushed up the wall with the growing number of ways humans are finding to pollute her. Increased emissions with the numerous cars, industries, etc. Green-house changing the look of the earth...the white poles will no longer be white in a few years. You can go on and on.
We need to slow down..but how? Man will keep doing his bit for pollution until he can do it. He will purchase the big car if he can, to compensate for something. How can we stem this rot, you ask. The crash of the credit market, overnight..ta da! You can't get loans so easily. AND the loans have become dearer. What is the option left with the man? If he has a car he'll make do with it and if he doesn't he'll purchase a 2nd-hand one which was the good old way of having something bigger, which was forgotten for a long time. Re-cycling had almost been forgotten. Does it have to take such crises to remind people of recycling things until the utility for it is lost? I think it is nature's way of reminding people their roots.
Thrift as opposed to consumerism! That's the key for a long time to come.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Just reached Bucharest
Yes! Majak majak mein Bucharest pahunch gaye.
Who would've thought that I'll sometime visit this vague eastern european country which was in news last time for the execution of it's ruler. The first impression is a little funny. It is an EU nation but there are facets about it that remind u of India.
Haven't seen much now but from my window it looks like Mumbai with the only difference that it has some really magnificent building sprinkled among some run-down neighborhoods.
The travel was interesting too. From bangalore to frankfurt I had this french woman beside me. When we took our seats it seemed like a usual boring flight where I'll talk to my neigbors only when I need to go out. But as soon as the take-off began she this lady had become so jumpy like a cat on a hot tin roof. She almost grabbed my hand and asked if it is OK if she talked to me as she had a type of fear of flying. Her fear manifests dangerously only during take-offs! She said she had purchased a book about it and was explaining to me about it. Very interesting conversation!
I have got my camera here but haven't got my card reader..let's see how i upload photos while i am here.
Who would've thought that I'll sometime visit this vague eastern european country which was in news last time for the execution of it's ruler. The first impression is a little funny. It is an EU nation but there are facets about it that remind u of India.
Haven't seen much now but from my window it looks like Mumbai with the only difference that it has some really magnificent building sprinkled among some run-down neighborhoods.
The travel was interesting too. From bangalore to frankfurt I had this french woman beside me. When we took our seats it seemed like a usual boring flight where I'll talk to my neigbors only when I need to go out. But as soon as the take-off began she this lady had become so jumpy like a cat on a hot tin roof. She almost grabbed my hand and asked if it is OK if she talked to me as she had a type of fear of flying. Her fear manifests dangerously only during take-offs! She said she had purchased a book about it and was explaining to me about it. Very interesting conversation!
I have got my camera here but haven't got my card reader..let's see how i upload photos while i am here.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Using Guugle for searching ebooks
Using Gugle for searching ebooks
Gugle has some fantastic potential for you to find whatever you are after on the internet.
To search for a book / program / file perhaps try the following.
Go to Gugle's search page and use the following criteria in the search dialog
intitle:index.of? file extension Name of item
e.g. intitle:index.of? chm syngress
This will hopefully give you a listing of all websites that google has cached that contain references to files in CHM format that are published by SYNGRESS.
---------------
I use in Gugle
+("index of") +("/ebooks"|"/book") +(chm|pdf|zip|rar) +syngress
or
allinurl: +(rar|chm|zip|pdf|tgz) Syngress
Enjoy
Gugle has some fantastic potential for you to find whatever you are after on the internet.
To search for a book / program / file perhaps try the following.
Go to Gugle's search page and use the following criteria in the search dialog
intitle:index.of? file extension Name of item
e.g. intitle:index.of? chm syngress
This will hopefully give you a listing of all websites that google has cached that contain references to files in CHM format that are published by SYNGRESS.
---------------
I use in Gugle
+("index of") +("/ebooks"|"/book") +(chm|pdf|zip|rar) +syngress
or
allinurl: +(rar|chm|zip|pdf|tgz) Syngress
Enjoy
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
What's so special about 1st June
We get a "Happy Birthday" email in our company everyday wishing the Birthday boys & girls, obviously, on their B'day. And?
Well, I check the email everyday to see if I it is the B'day of anyone I know. And what do I see on June 1st. It happens to be a Birthday for 14 people in our organisation out of 969 people!
Why should that sound strange? It is if you see the probability of that happening?
What does law of averages tell us? That given a sufficiently large set of people, you will have almost equal number of people being born on any given day. Well, 969 is not a sufficiently large set but we can take an error of 30% here or there(let's not get into the standard deviation mess. Not everyone has a stomach for it). Ok, so with the above theory having set in, it is likely that 969/365=2.65 people will have their birthday on any given day. With an error of 30% 1.85 - 3.44 is the range of people who'll have their birthday on any given day.
Now, do you see the anamoly here? Now, either September 1st has some fertile aspect about it that we don't know of or it is our schools who's playing truant with our probabilities. Schools? Yes schools. The schools in India, almost everywhere, reopen after a 2-3 month holiday on 1st June. And unscrupulous schools and enthusiastic new parents combine to make a lot of children's B'day 1st of June so that the child is perfectly placed for admission.
Fortunately, though, you will not see this phenomenon when the rigged-birthday workforce retire. The government is strict about Birth certificates now and the schools require them without fail. So, I am hoping that our probabilities will be restored soon :)
Well, I check the email everyday to see if I it is the B'day of anyone I know. And what do I see on June 1st. It happens to be a Birthday for 14 people in our organisation out of 969 people!
Why should that sound strange? It is if you see the probability of that happening?
What does law of averages tell us? That given a sufficiently large set of people, you will have almost equal number of people being born on any given day. Well, 969 is not a sufficiently large set but we can take an error of 30% here or there(let's not get into the standard deviation mess. Not everyone has a stomach for it). Ok, so with the above theory having set in, it is likely that 969/365=2.65 people will have their birthday on any given day. With an error of 30% 1.85 - 3.44 is the range of people who'll have their birthday on any given day.
Now, do you see the anamoly here? Now, either September 1st has some fertile aspect about it that we don't know of or it is our schools who's playing truant with our probabilities. Schools? Yes schools. The schools in India, almost everywhere, reopen after a 2-3 month holiday on 1st June. And unscrupulous schools and enthusiastic new parents combine to make a lot of children's B'day 1st of June so that the child is perfectly placed for admission.
Fortunately, though, you will not see this phenomenon when the rigged-birthday workforce retire. The government is strict about Birth certificates now and the schools require them without fail. So, I am hoping that our probabilities will be restored soon :)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thought for the day
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Yo Momma jokes
1. Yo momma is so honest, her driver's license has her real weight on it.
2. Yo momma is so friendly she waves back at the "Don't Walk" sign.
3. Yo momma is so responsible she even feeds the dust bunnies.
4. Yo momma is so funny, she makes milk come out of a cows nose.
5. Yo momma, is so diligent, she studied for her pregnancy test.
6. Yo momma is so honest, she stole a car and kept up the payments.
7. Yo momma is so slim she can Hula-Hoop in a Cheerio.
8. Yo momma is so proper, she slapped her laundry for smelling too fresh.
9. Yo momma is so pretty, yo daddy still wants her phone number.
10. Yo momma is so polite, she would apologize to the floor if she fell.
2. Yo momma is so friendly she waves back at the "Don't Walk" sign.
3. Yo momma is so responsible she even feeds the dust bunnies.
4. Yo momma is so funny, she makes milk come out of a cows nose.
5. Yo momma, is so diligent, she studied for her pregnancy test.
6. Yo momma is so honest, she stole a car and kept up the payments.
7. Yo momma is so slim she can Hula-Hoop in a Cheerio.
8. Yo momma is so proper, she slapped her laundry for smelling too fresh.
9. Yo momma is so pretty, yo daddy still wants her phone number.
10. Yo momma is so polite, she would apologize to the floor if she fell.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Boycott Beijing Olympics!
Chinese goverment is a major human rights violator the world has ever
seen. No other government would come close to what it's government is
capable of. We have seen and heard a lot of such human rights
violations that the Chinese government has perpetrated on it's people
inspite of the iron tight control it has on it's press, media and
internet. Imagine the magnitude of the violations you would have heard
of if their press was free or if their people could, perhaps, blog
freely!
China invaded Tibet in 1951 claiming that Tibet was part of China.
Since then it has supressed the Tibetans with an iron fist. It has
executed hundreds and thousands of dissidents and has diluted the
local Tibetan population by forcing hordes of Chinese to settle in
Tibet. China is currently bringing down the Tibetan freedom uprising
in the only it knows i.e. by killing the dissidents. The press,
currently, states that only 100 have been killed. If the press was
free we'd most definetely be hearing a lot bigger figure.
China has been the biggest trade partner of Sudan despite its abysmal
record of human rights towards its people. Though the rest of the
world distanced itself from Sudan, inspite of its rich oil reserves,
due to the sole purpose of forcing Sudan to improve its human rights
records, China remains oblivious to it. It is very normal for China to
see it's sole interest in all things that it deals in.
Inspite of these and many other human rights violations that China is
guilty of our governments, for some reason or the other, don't seem to
put enough pressure on it to improve it's records. It is high time, we
the people, arose and took some action to force our governments to
take some actions that shows China that the rest of the world wants it
to change. The time is ripe to do this. And it is by making 'Boycott
Beijing Olypmics' a war-cry. So much so that our governments are
forced to say the same.
I am not the kind who relishes chain mail but for a good cause I urge
you to send this message to your friends if you see merit in it. We
might not get such an opportunity again very soon. Please do your bit
by making "Boycott Beijing Olympics" a movement.
Thanks a lot.
seen. No other government would come close to what it's government is
capable of. We have seen and heard a lot of such human rights
violations that the Chinese government has perpetrated on it's people
inspite of the iron tight control it has on it's press, media and
internet. Imagine the magnitude of the violations you would have heard
of if their press was free or if their people could, perhaps, blog
freely!
China invaded Tibet in 1951 claiming that Tibet was part of China.
Since then it has supressed the Tibetans with an iron fist. It has
executed hundreds and thousands of dissidents and has diluted the
local Tibetan population by forcing hordes of Chinese to settle in
Tibet. China is currently bringing down the Tibetan freedom uprising
in the only it knows i.e. by killing the dissidents. The press,
currently, states that only 100 have been killed. If the press was
free we'd most definetely be hearing a lot bigger figure.
China has been the biggest trade partner of Sudan despite its abysmal
record of human rights towards its people. Though the rest of the
world distanced itself from Sudan, inspite of its rich oil reserves,
due to the sole purpose of forcing Sudan to improve its human rights
records, China remains oblivious to it. It is very normal for China to
see it's sole interest in all things that it deals in.
Inspite of these and many other human rights violations that China is
guilty of our governments, for some reason or the other, don't seem to
put enough pressure on it to improve it's records. It is high time, we
the people, arose and took some action to force our governments to
take some actions that shows China that the rest of the world wants it
to change. The time is ripe to do this. And it is by making 'Boycott
Beijing Olypmics' a war-cry. So much so that our governments are
forced to say the same.
I am not the kind who relishes chain mail but for a good cause I urge
you to send this message to your friends if you see merit in it. We
might not get such an opportunity again very soon. Please do your bit
by making "Boycott Beijing Olympics" a movement.
Thanks a lot.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Newzealanders
A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
After looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a desert island.
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with Beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Kiwi.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her, and he slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Kiwi started to get "those feelings" again.
He fought the
urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
After looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a desert island.
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with Beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Kiwi.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her, and he slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Kiwi started to get "those feelings" again.
He fought the
urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
Under-weight baby
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
"Breast fed," the woman replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Soulmate - A definition
A soulmate is the one with whom you could sit with without saying a
word and walk away feeling like that was the best
conversation you ever had. . . . . . .
word and walk away feeling like that was the best
conversation you ever had. . . . . . .
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Viagra Wife's Diary
This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife...
Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate.
When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the
bathroom and cried.
Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and
he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I
don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.
Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture
of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.
Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his
'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things
will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I
replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his
mood.
Day 5
What absolute bliss!!
Day 6
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at
Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they
were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think
I've ever been so happy.
Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the
lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit
sore down there.
Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to
make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I
going to do? I feel tacky all over....
Day 11
I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and
Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits
hurt. He's a complete pig.
Day 12
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even
washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become
dangerous...
Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed
with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry"
thing again, I'll kill the bastard.
Day 14
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started
dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me!
Day 15
I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on.
The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more.
Last night I told him to go and screw himself and he did.
Day 16
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing
explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on
Prozac.
Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ!
Here he comes again!
Day 18
He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all
day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for
him. What absolute bliss!
Alternate dictionary
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Enough of Eulogizing Benazir...here's a little perspective
An article written by William Dalrymple in The New York Times puts things in perspective to us Indians who might've not been the news fiends when the Benazir was doing her stuff:
"
WHEN, in May 1991, former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi of India was killed by a suicide bomber, there was an international outpouring of grief. Recent days have seen the same with the death of Benazir Bhutto: another glamorous, Western-educated scion of a great South Asian political dynasty tragically assassinated at an election rally.
There is, however, an important difference between the two deaths: while Mr. Gandhi was assassinated by Sri Lankan Hindu extremists because of his policy of confronting them, Ms. Bhutto was apparently the victim of Islamist militant groups that she allowed to flourish under her administrations in the 1980s and 1990s.
It was under Ms. Bhutto’s watch that the Pakistani intelligence agency, Inter-Services Intelligence, first installed the Taliban in Afghanistan. It was also at that time that hundreds of young Islamic militants were recruited from the madrassas to do the agency’s dirty work in Indian Kashmir. It seems that, like some terrorist equivalent of Frankenstein’s monster, the extremists turned on both the person and the state that had helped bring them into being.
While it is true that the recruitment of jihadists had started before she took office and that Ms. Bhutto was insufficiently strong — or competent — to have had full control over either the intelligence services or the Pakistani Army when she was in office, it is equally naïve to believe she had no influence over her country’s foreign policy toward its two most important neighbors, India and Afghanistan.
Everyone now knows how disastrous the rule of the Taliban turned out to be in Afghanistan, how brutally it subjected women and how it allowed Al Qaeda to train in camps within its territory. But another, and in the long term perhaps equally perilous, legacy of Ms. Bhutto’s tenure is often forgotten: the turning of Kashmir into a jihadist playground.
In 1989, when the insurgency in the Indian portion of the disputed region first began, it was largely an amateur affair of young, secular-minded Kashmiri Muslims rising village by village and wielding homemade weapons — firearms fashioned from the steering shafts of rickshaws and so on. By the early ’90s, however, Pakistan was sending over the border thousands of well-trained, heavily armed and ideologically hardened jihadis. Some were the same sorts of exiled Arab radicals who were at the same time forming Al Qaeda in Peshawar, in northwestern Pakistan.
By 1993, during Ms. Bhutto’s second term, the Arab and Afghan jihadis (and their Inter-Services Intelligence masters) had really begun to take over the uprising from the locals. It was at this stage that the secular leadership of the Jammu and Kashmir Liberation Front began losing ground to hard-line Islamist outfits like Hizbul Mujahedeen.
I asked Benazir Bhutto about her Kashmir policy and the potential dangers of the growing role of religious extremists in the conflict during an interview in 1994. “India tries to gloss over its policy of repression in Kashmir,” she replied. “India does have might, but has been unable to crush the people of Kashmir. We are not prepared to keep silent, and collude with repression.”
Hamid Gul, who was the head of the intelligence agency during her first administration, was more forthcoming still. “The Kashmiri people have risen up,” he told me, “and it is the national purpose of Pakistan to help liberate them.” He continued, “If the jihadis go out and contain India, tying down their army on their own soil, for a legitimate cause, why should we not support them?”
Benazir Bhutto’s death is, of course, a calamity, particularly as she embodied the hopes of so many liberal Pakistanis. But, contrary to the commentary we’ve seen in the last week, she was not comparable to Myanmar’s Daw Aung San Suu Kyi. Ms. Bhutto’s governments were widely criticized by Amnesty International and other groups for their use of death squads and terrible record on deaths in police custody, abductions and torture. As for her democratic bona fides, she had no qualms about banning rallies by opposing political parties while in power.
Within her own party, she declared herself the president for life and controlled all decisions. She rejected her brother Murtaza’s bid to challenge her for its leadership and when he persisted, he was shot dead in highly suspicious circumstances during a police ambush outside the Bhutto family home.
Benazir Bhutto was certainly a brave and secular-minded woman. But the obituaries painting her as dying to save democracy distort history. Instead, she was a natural autocrat who did little for human rights, a calculating politician who was complicit in Pakistan’s becoming the region’s principal jihadi paymaster while she also ramped up an insurgency in Kashmir that has brought two nuclear powers to the brink of war.
"
For once you can rest in peace that Musharraf hasn't screwed up :)
"
WHEN, in May 1991, former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi of India was killed by a suicide bomber, there was an international outpouring of grief. Recent days have seen the same with the death of Benazir Bhutto: another glamorous, Western-educated scion of a great South Asian political dynasty tragically assassinated at an election rally.
There is, however, an important difference between the two deaths: while Mr. Gandhi was assassinated by Sri Lankan Hindu extremists because of his policy of confronting them, Ms. Bhutto was apparently the victim of Islamist militant groups that she allowed to flourish under her administrations in the 1980s and 1990s.
It was under Ms. Bhutto’s watch that the Pakistani intelligence agency, Inter-Services Intelligence, first installed the Taliban in Afghanistan. It was also at that time that hundreds of young Islamic militants were recruited from the madrassas to do the agency’s dirty work in Indian Kashmir. It seems that, like some terrorist equivalent of Frankenstein’s monster, the extremists turned on both the person and the state that had helped bring them into being.
While it is true that the recruitment of jihadists had started before she took office and that Ms. Bhutto was insufficiently strong — or competent — to have had full control over either the intelligence services or the Pakistani Army when she was in office, it is equally naïve to believe she had no influence over her country’s foreign policy toward its two most important neighbors, India and Afghanistan.
Everyone now knows how disastrous the rule of the Taliban turned out to be in Afghanistan, how brutally it subjected women and how it allowed Al Qaeda to train in camps within its territory. But another, and in the long term perhaps equally perilous, legacy of Ms. Bhutto’s tenure is often forgotten: the turning of Kashmir into a jihadist playground.
In 1989, when the insurgency in the Indian portion of the disputed region first began, it was largely an amateur affair of young, secular-minded Kashmiri Muslims rising village by village and wielding homemade weapons — firearms fashioned from the steering shafts of rickshaws and so on. By the early ’90s, however, Pakistan was sending over the border thousands of well-trained, heavily armed and ideologically hardened jihadis. Some were the same sorts of exiled Arab radicals who were at the same time forming Al Qaeda in Peshawar, in northwestern Pakistan.
By 1993, during Ms. Bhutto’s second term, the Arab and Afghan jihadis (and their Inter-Services Intelligence masters) had really begun to take over the uprising from the locals. It was at this stage that the secular leadership of the Jammu and Kashmir Liberation Front began losing ground to hard-line Islamist outfits like Hizbul Mujahedeen.
I asked Benazir Bhutto about her Kashmir policy and the potential dangers of the growing role of religious extremists in the conflict during an interview in 1994. “India tries to gloss over its policy of repression in Kashmir,” she replied. “India does have might, but has been unable to crush the people of Kashmir. We are not prepared to keep silent, and collude with repression.”
Hamid Gul, who was the head of the intelligence agency during her first administration, was more forthcoming still. “The Kashmiri people have risen up,” he told me, “and it is the national purpose of Pakistan to help liberate them.” He continued, “If the jihadis go out and contain India, tying down their army on their own soil, for a legitimate cause, why should we not support them?”
Benazir Bhutto’s death is, of course, a calamity, particularly as she embodied the hopes of so many liberal Pakistanis. But, contrary to the commentary we’ve seen in the last week, she was not comparable to Myanmar’s Daw Aung San Suu Kyi. Ms. Bhutto’s governments were widely criticized by Amnesty International and other groups for their use of death squads and terrible record on deaths in police custody, abductions and torture. As for her democratic bona fides, she had no qualms about banning rallies by opposing political parties while in power.
Within her own party, she declared herself the president for life and controlled all decisions. She rejected her brother Murtaza’s bid to challenge her for its leadership and when he persisted, he was shot dead in highly suspicious circumstances during a police ambush outside the Bhutto family home.
Benazir Bhutto was certainly a brave and secular-minded woman. But the obituaries painting her as dying to save democracy distort history. Instead, she was a natural autocrat who did little for human rights, a calculating politician who was complicit in Pakistan’s becoming the region’s principal jihadi paymaster while she also ramped up an insurgency in Kashmir that has brought two nuclear powers to the brink of war.
"
For once you can rest in peace that Musharraf hasn't screwed up :)
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