Most essential software that I install on my computer after a fresh OS install

That was a heck of a long title, wasn't it? But helps in search engine tagging ;)
Ok, so, the past few days I've been busy with the re-install of the OS of my company laptop. And I am just about to get my new laptop. So, I thought that it would be a good idea to list down the basic essential software I would spend time downloading and installing. Here it goes:
1. First and foremost would be Firefox without any questions. Not if I were installing a linux system on my machine, though, because all the flavors of linux come with Firefox as the default browser.
2. My corporate laptop came with WinZip already but an archive handler IMO is the next important thing anyone would need on their computer. WinZip is commercial but there are infinite options for a free archive handlers as well.
3. PDF file reader! I have grown fond of FoxReader as opposed to Acrobat. Adobe acrobat is sly fat lady of pdf readers. It occupies huge memory, it takes long to load and it keeps downloading latest versions on its own. I don't like it one bit.
4. VLC media player for playing ANY video file. There is no replacement of vlc in this department. There is no media player that will play any media file out of the box(OTB).
5. Pidgin, for IMing. Pidgin is real nifty with support for many proprietary IM clients like yahoo, gtalk, msn, etc.
6. TweetDeck, for the twitter client.
7. For some java related stuff that I have in which I store my personal information I need a JDK. So, a jdk is next in line.
8. I would like to have a copy of Eclipse for that occasional outburst of programming. And these days I am checking out Android. Therefore, the android SDK is next.
9. My corporate laptop has Microsoft office pre-loaded. But on linux/Mac OSX I'd need something like OpenOffice for that occasional document that I need to create or view. Many linux flavors already come packaged with a copy of OpenOffice.
10. Ah, did I forget the flash plugin download the browser will make you do to watch anything on youtube?

Please add a comment if you feel there is something I missed.

The Twitter Experience

Finally getting around to write about my Twitter experience!

But why did I turn to twitter ITFP(in the first place, duh!)?
I was getting sloppy with blogging inspite of the heck of an audience that I get everyday ;) And facebook I found to be heavyweight. Heavyweight? I don't know where to start but here are my grouses with facebook in no particular order:

• It takes a heck of a long time to open.
• Finally, it's a bunch of people updating some statuses and people commenting on it.
• There are some nasty people putting nasty comments viewable to whoever is your friend which you cannot delete!
  
• No quick way to see what people are upto. Like, with the help of some clients.
• I know you can write about yourself only as much you like others to know. But facebook is just intrusive in it's format. If you say tyoo little about yourself you are a voyeur and if you tell too much about yourself you have privacy issues. There is no winning.

Overall, it has never appealed to me. Then there is the IM. But IM is hardly ever used these days except for chatting where calling is not an option. AND its soo gay if you chat too much with your best same-sex buddy ;)
In comes Twitter with a lot of buzz attached to it. And I think what the heck lemme give it a try.

At first Twitter comes through as utterly unfriendly. It's, like, saying I am the one who's popular you will have to f*$king search and know more about me, how to use it, etc. It's lack of newbie help is just too stand-offish. It must be something wrong with me to not try and get to know it better and give up on it, is its message.But having stuck to it I find it better than the other alternatives in the following ways:

• It is lightweight. No lengthy bio-data to fill-up. Heck it's based on the max SMS length of 140 chars so it's gotta be pithy.
  
• It's based on a very simple format. 1. Broadcast a msg to your followers. 2. Your followers can reply just to you. 3. World can see your broadcasts but cannot send msg to you. 4. You can direct message one follower for privacy's sake too. 5. The best part nobody gets to see what others are writing to you.
  
• There are n-number of clients for it. Also, plugins with IM clients.
• I have a few people I no longer IMed much, on my follower's list now and we catch up quite often. This is the most important reason why you need twitter. Because IM is history and this is the most unobtrusive way to catch up with people who you used to IM before.
  
• The other appeal of twitter is the Mobile way to update your followers while on the move. Which I haven't tried but it's there. Phew! what if I get stuck on an island with only SMS & MMS working then I can update my followers with the sexy scenes of the exotic island that they are missing :) Or heck, a quick twitpic update of the dripping gorgeous air-hostess right from the esconce of your seat :) The possibilities are mind-numbing.

Anyyways, here are some lessons to the newbies while am at it:

• Be careful about what you broadcast as it is open to public viewing.
• Be careful about what you reply to followers with @username too. Though it is going only to specific person it is still viewable in your public timeline.
• The only way you can be sure of privacy is when you direct message someone.
• Do not reply to someone in a broadcast way as it clutters the timeline of all your followers.
• Also do not post helluva lot of broadcasts in a day. Again the same problem. I have personally unsubscribed people who did that.
• You don't have to think much before unsubscribing anyone. It's least unobtrusive. I keep getting random followers and I even don't come to know when they've unfollowed me. Also, you are not obliged to follow someone just because they are following you.
• The best way to use twitter is with a client. It makes replying, keeping to 140 chars limit and shortening lengthy urls a cakewalk. I use TweetDeck. Also, it instantly updates me with an alert of any update I got from someone I follow.
  

Last but not the least, twitter has MANY java APIs which I plan to use to make a java app for my mobile, one of these days. And finally the last thing my twitter id: http://twitter.com/gparmar :)

Damn funny alien joke

Well sonny, let me tell you bout the time the wife and I met some aliens. They landed on our farm one night and introduced themselves. Nice people. We got to talkin' and of course the conversation turned to sex. Now, the wife and I are open minded, so we thought, you know, in the name of science and interspecies understanding, we should give it a try. So the lady alien and I go off the the saucer while the male alien takes my wife to the bedroom.

Next morning, the wife and I talk about it. She says the alien had such a tiny penis, she started to laugh. Well, he says they aren't built like us. If she wants it thicker, just pull on his left ear. If she wants it longer, just pull on his right ear. So she gets it set up the way she likes and they have a great time.

"How was it for you?" she asks.

I say, "Pretty good, but that alien damn near pulled my ears off!"