Thought for the day

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Yo Momma jokes

1. Yo momma is so honest, her driver's license has her real weight on it.

2. Yo momma is so friendly she waves back at the "Don't Walk" sign.

3. Yo momma is so responsible she even feeds the dust bunnies.

4. Yo momma is so funny, she makes milk come out of a cows nose.

5. Yo momma, is so diligent, she studied for her pregnancy test.

6. Yo momma is so honest, she stole a car and kept up the payments.

7. Yo momma is so slim she can Hula-Hoop in a Cheerio.

8. Yo momma is so proper, she slapped her laundry for smelling too fresh.

9. Yo momma is so pretty, yo daddy still wants her phone number.

10. Yo momma is so polite, she would apologize to the floor if she fell.

We could have done more

Boycott Beijing Olympics!

Chinese goverment is a major human rights violator the world has ever
seen. No other government would come close to what it's government is
capable of. We have seen and heard a lot of such human rights
violations that the Chinese government has perpetrated on it's people
inspite of the iron tight control it has on it's press, media and
internet. Imagine the magnitude of the violations you would have heard
of if their press was free or if their people could, perhaps, blog
freely!

China invaded Tibet in 1951 claiming that Tibet was part of China.
Since then it has supressed the Tibetans with an iron fist. It has
executed hundreds and thousands of dissidents and has diluted the
local Tibetan population by forcing hordes of Chinese to settle in
Tibet. China is currently bringing down the Tibetan freedom uprising
in the only it knows i.e. by killing the dissidents. The press,
currently, states that only 100 have been killed. If the press was
free we'd most definetely be hearing a lot bigger figure.

China has been the biggest trade partner of Sudan despite its abysmal
record of human rights towards its people. Though the rest of the
world distanced itself from Sudan, inspite of its rich oil reserves,
due to the sole purpose of forcing Sudan to improve its human rights
records, China remains oblivious to it. It is very normal for China to
see it's sole interest in all things that it deals in.

Inspite of these and many other human rights violations that China is
guilty of our governments, for some reason or the other, don't seem to
put enough pressure on it to improve it's records. It is high time, we
the people, arose and took some action to force our governments to
take some actions that shows China that the rest of the world wants it
to change. The time is ripe to do this. And it is by making 'Boycott
Beijing Olypmics' a war-cry. So much so that our governments are
forced to say the same.

I am not the kind who relishes chain mail but for a good cause I urge
you to send this message to your friends if you see merit in it. We
might not get such an opportunity again very soon. Please do your bit
by making "Boycott Beijing Olympics" a movement.

Thanks a lot.

Newzealanders

A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
After looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a desert island.
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with Beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Kiwi.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her, and he slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Kiwi started to get "those feelings" again.
He fought the
urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

Under-weight baby

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."

Soulmate - A definition

A soulmate is the one with whom you could sit with without saying a
word and walk away feeling like that was the best
conversation you ever had. . . . . . .